Category: Funny Jokes

Opportunist


Dear Optimist, Pessimist and Realist,
While you guys were busy arguing about the glass of water I drank it.

Sincerely,
the Opportunist


Never forget a face


I never forget a face!

But in your case I'll make an exception!


Pretty Little Head


She has a pretty little head.
For a head, it's pretty little.


Yesterday's coffee


She's like yesterday's coffee
-- a little weak in the bean.


Bone specialist


He should study to be a bone specialist
- he has the head for it.


Fireplace


You're so poor that when I went to your house I stepped on a match and your mom said,
"Oh! who turned off the fireplace"!!!


Whoa! Shut your mouth!!!


Your breath is so bad that when you talk your teeth duck.


You are so stupid...


You are so stupid that you flunked special-ed


Moving


I saw a garbage truck driving yesterday.
You never told me you were moving.


Your Family Is So Poor


Your family is so poor, when I went to your house I stepped on a cigarette and your Daddy shouted,
“Hey, who turned off the heater!”


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