We could have been here sooner

Category: Food Jokes


An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.
"Here is your ocean side condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area."
"Heck, Gloria," the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, "we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn't heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!"


Top ten ways to annoy your waiter


10. Eight hour lunch, two dollar tip.
9. Ask, "Excuse me, are you a really bad singer, or a really bad actor?"
8. After he describes each special, y ... Read On »

You should learn to be more polite


One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner. As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself ... Read On »

Constantly complaining about the temperature


A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it b ... Read On »

The family of tomatoes


A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind.
The big father tomato walks back to the ... Read On »

Purchasing mailing lists


With more than twelve billion catalogs being mailed annually, it's little wonder that marketers are distributing mailing lists anywhere possible.
In ... Read On »

What is this?


When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour, the Englishman was a bit dismayed.
"Good heavens," he said,
"what is ... Read On »

Sorry for eating the peanuts


A man visits his aunt in the nursing home. It turns out that she is taking a nap, so he just sits down in a chair in her room, flips through a few mag ... Read On »

Are caterpillars good to eat?


Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat?
Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals!
Mother: Why did you say that, Ju ... Read On »

I have a Microsoft waiter


Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waite ... Read On »

We could have been here sooner


An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter.
"Here is your ocean side condo, over ... Read On »

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