You know you drink too much coffee when...

Category: Clean Jokes


1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
3. You can jump-start your car without cables.
4. You do twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
5. You can't remember your second cup.
6. You have a picture of your coffeemug on your coffee mug.
7. Starbucks has a mortgage on your house.
8. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
9. You don't sweat -- you percolate.
10. You grind coffee beans in your mouth.


Motherinlaw's Funeral


A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law.
As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: "Why are you crying, you nev ... Read On »

Mohammed and Douglas Adams


Q: What do Mohammed and Douglas Adams have in common?
A: A deep, abiding respect for the value of a towel on the head.

What's on your back?


A German, an American, and a Mexican are traveling in the Amazon, and they get captured.
The head of the tribe says to the German, "What do you want ... Read On »

Jump out of the plane!


An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says,
"We're h ... Read On »

Irish ... light bulb joke


How many Irishmen does it take to replace a light bulb?

30, 2 to hold the light bulb and 28 to drink till the room starts spinning.

A nerd, a nude, and a bike


A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.
The first nerd was stunned and asked ... Read On »

10 Signs Your Amish Teen's In Trouble


10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.
9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.
8. Shows up at barn raising in full " ... Read On »

You Know You're Out Of College When...


1. Your salary is less than your tuition.
2. Your potted plants stay alive.
3. Shacking in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
4. You keep more food tha ... Read On »

Accountants and Engineers on a Train


Three engineers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the ... Read On »

You know you drink too much coffee when...


1. Juan Valdez names his mule after you.
2. You chew on your roommate's fingernails.
3. You can jump-start your car without cables.
4. You do twe ... Read On »

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