Santa Hates Your Kid

Category: Christmas Jokes


8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
6. Along with presents, Santa leaves hefty bill for shipping and handling.
5. By the time he gets to your house, all he has left is foam packing.
4. Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed.
3. Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has him on the stupid list
2. Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown."
1. Four words: "Off my lap, Tubby!"


Did Santa Give You That Present?


On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop says to the kid, "Nice ... Read On »

Enter the Pearly Gates


Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present som ... Read On »

Ten things to say about gifts you don't like


10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would've fit.
9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me. ... Read On »

Short Snow Jokes


What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

What ... Read On »

Short Christmas Jokes


What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christma ... Read On »

Santa Hates Your Kid


8. Kid's letter to north pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, Chester!"
7. Kid asks for new bike, gets pack of smokes
6. Along with presents, Santa l ... Read On »

Santa vs. system admins


1. Santa is bearded, corpulent, and dresses funny.
2. When you ask Santa for something, the odds of receiving what you wanted are infinitesimal.
3. ... Read On »

Signs You Bought a Lousy Tree


8. Two feet tall, forty feet wide
7. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"
6. It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot ... Read On »

Santa's Pet Peeves


8. Kids who refuse to believe that it's fruitcake on your breath and not gin.
7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it.
... Read On »

Without a Christmas bonus


Ten signs you're not getting a Christmas bonus

10. Co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of unemployment future"
9. The last time you saw your bo ... Read On »

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