Mothers taught us

Category: Mom/Dad Jokes


Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

My Mother taught me MEDICINE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"

My Mother taught me ESP...
"Put your sweater on; don't you think that I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you...Don't talk back to me!"

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father!"

My mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

My mother taught me about RECEIVING...
You are going to get it when we get home. and my all time favorite thing - JUSTICE..."One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like YOU..then you'll see what it's like."


Travel on the plane


For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo ... Read On »

Shopping for goods


A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead.
"Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" ... Read On »

Kids tough question


Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.
Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?
Father: Ok ask.
Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the ... Read On »

We have new babies


For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother ... Read On »

Naming your child


There was a woman who was pregnant with twins, and shortly before they were due, she had an accident and went into a coma. Her husband was away on bus ... Read On »

Delivering a baby


A country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby.
It was so far out, there was no electricity. When the doctor arrived, no one was ho ... Read On »

Woman is on a bus


A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver said: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the f ... Read On »

Mothers taught us


Things My Mother Taught Me

My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me."

... Read On »

At the public pool


The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.
"Everyone knows," the mother lectured him, "that from time to time, y ... Read On »

Dad will never say


Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
9. You kn ... Read On »

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