Want a day off work?

Category: Job/Office Jokes


So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year in which you already have 2 days off per week, leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours each day away from work, you have used up 170 days, leaving only 91 days available.
You spend 30 minutes each day on coffee break which counts for 23 days each year, leaving only 68 days available.
With a 1 hour lunch each day, you used up another 46 days, leaving only 22 days available for work.
You normally spend 2 days per year on sick leave. This leaves you only 20 days per year available for work.
We are off 5 holidays per year, so your available working time is down to 15 days.
We generously give 14 days vacation per year which leaves only 1 day available for work and I'll be darned if you are going to take that day off!


Want a day off work?


So you want a day off. Let's take a look at what you are asking for.
There are 365 days per year available for work.
There are 52 weeks per year i ... Read On »

Have incredible dogs


Four workers were discussing how smart their dogs were.
The first was an engineer who said his dog could do math calculations. His dog was named "T- ... Read On »

Have a life after death


"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees.
"Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied.
"Well, then, that makes everything ... Read On »

Pay for your past bills


A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill h ... Read On »

Selling war insurance


Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. ... Read On »

Old local blacksmith


An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was cr ... Read On »

Drummer problems


A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer. He talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance simply didn't i ... Read On »

Pick a starting salary


Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young MBA fresh out of MIT,
"And what starting salary were you looking for ... Read On »

Boss wants too much


For thirty years, Johnson had arrived at work at 9A.M. on the dot. He had never missed a day and was never late. Consequently, when on one particular ... Read On »

Sleeping on the job


Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Your Desk

15. "They told me at the blood bank this might happen."
14. "This is just a 15 minute powe ... Read On »

12
Want a day off work?0/ 5.